Asshole shortage threatens world peace, President bush ready to be a bigger asshole 10th anniversary of princess diana shagging a muslim then dying mysteriously Permafrost melts in siberia and alaska forest fires rage in greece car sales rise in China Hello complacent masses, im sick and tired here are tonights headlies

Steven Spielberg resigns from chinas olympics, not to promote american fascism Khalid sheik mohammed on trial for being captured and confessing to stuff In the uk Sharia law row after voodo priests mumbo jumbo gibberings Hello economic slave peasants, welcome to the fkn newz, Ive got the funk here are tonights headlies

Everything is great and protest in unneccessary say unelected owners of the world Shops are open now and Shopping is fun say money printing rulers of the world We are the goodies and they are the baddies say beingn rulers of earth

Iraq + Afghanistan slaughter bonus Taleban Al kaida fantasy continues Chinese olympic torch route stamping in the face of freedom In the Uk blairs power handover Europe to rules british peasants

America celebrates independence day with debt slavery and fascist military rule Fantastic success of troop surge in Iraq Not as many insignificant iraqi civilians die In the UK rubbish fake terrorist attack by not very good rubbish fake terrorists

There is no God says church of illuminated astronomy Billions duped by fraud for thousands of years Mass slaughter of humanity coming soon central banks to rule survivors with new fake god Queen of england descended from lizards just like the rest of humanity. wlecome to the fukin news im tempting fate, here are the headlies tonight

Jews and Communists er I mean Beards and moustachists conspire to rule the World. Afterlife is fucking up the planet Heaven to blame for global warming

190,000 machine guns not missing in Iraq theyr just differently located says the Pentagon world Computer simulation helps predict angry mobs and where to shoot them from In the UK blogging banned for defence staff and troops secrecy is secretly neccessary for our secret secrets welcome to the fukin news im more than enough here are the headlies tonight

Brain washed Stupid fuckers who believe anything Ready to kill for their rich fascist puppet masters American ploticians renounce Darwinian evolution and embrace mumbo jumbo voodo magic In the UK 6 of Gordon Browns cabinet confess we smoked pot but we didnt enjoy it ,so its ok

G8 leaders laugh in your face and spit on your grave aids death killing and global warming to continue Paris Hilton more important than the fake war on terror better looking than famine slavery and 9/11 lies In the UK bribery and corruption necessary for national security britain must arm evil saudi dictators or else...

OIL prices hit $100 a barrel but we can still afford to fuk up the planet Blackwater killings 'broke rules' say fbi victims should have been terrorist's In the UK Travel terror increased with new insecurity clampdown Hello pawns in the game, Im fraught with danger, here are tonight's headlies

SCARY INTERNATIONAL LIES R'US - fknnewz 112307